I finally listened to my 'Gut Instincts'

I never really knew what the phrase 'listen to your gut' meant. Now I do. It is that feeling when something just doesn't add up. When something smells a little stale and off. When it tastes slightly bitter and doesn't sit right. HEAR IT! It is your brain's way of trying to get to you open your eyes and see that you need to make the right decision here. The one that will prevent something bad from happening.

For me that gut instinct spoke to me with a faint... something just doesn't add up... kind of feeling. I had been fighting with Mr Manipulator all weekend via text. My son and I had been driving around from parks, to shops all weekend to stay out of 'his' hair. He was so angry that we just weren't going to be able to spend any time in the same place. Late on Sunday afternoon I got a text suggesting that I come home and that my son would be tired. I agreed as I was exhausted and needed a shower and above all else I wanted to make things right again. After all it was my fault Mr Manipulator was so angry (wasn't it?). When I pulled up to our house I didn't pull in the driveway. I think I did that in case I needed a quick getaway. Not that I actually thought I would need to but it was just an impulsive thing I did. The second and most important thing I did was I asked my 4yr old son to stay in the car until I came to get him. I told him that he was not to get out of the car until I came for him. No matter what. He agreed. I got out of the car and locked the doors. It was then, with my heart in my throat and an intense feeling of needing to throw up that I walked into the house we called home (or used to). For two hours he beat me, threw me around the house and verbally abused me. He threatened many times to kill me.

I am not going to give a blow by blow account of this now as I do not feel the strength to do so just yet. But I am so grateful that I listened to my gut on this one. If I had of ignored my gut instincts (as I have done in the past) and taken my son inside who knows what might have happened. I didn't save myself from Mr Manipulator's violence but I did, to some degree, save my son from being a part of it or witnessing it. He would not be here today if he were to have felt the intensity of just one of Mr Manipulator's punches.

If I learnt anything from this experience it was that we are sent or given messages by something inside. We must recognise what they are trying to tell us. We must listen to ourselves more closely in order understand and make better informed decisions. There have been other times in my life where I have felt strong instincts about something and ignored them only to be met with regret that I had not 'followed my gut'.

Sometimes when you think you're guessing, your brain may actually know better.

So, the next time your gut instincts give you a warning before attempting something in your life, take heed of the warning signs. They are there for a reason.